I’m joking. The teaser trailer for the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street didn’t give me the zzzzzs, but it did make me laugh until I burped a couple of times. As much as I love Jackie Earle Haley (dude’s performance in Little Children made me report him to Chris Hansen), I can’t help but think, “You were in Bad News Bears! You don’t scare me!” I was seriously waiting for one of the bitches in this trailer to tell Freddy Krueger, “KELLY LEAK, STOP! Coach Buttermaker isn’t going to like this!”
And since Michael Bay produced this, does that mean he made Jackie Earle Haley wash his Ferrari for the role? Because if that happened, that’s the shit I want to see!