The wart hogs of the world can breathe a sigh of relief tonight, because Khloe Kardashian will not be out hunting them at midnight like usual. That’s because she’ll be too busy barfing up the essence of holy matrimony! Khloe Kardashian is officially someone’s wife! Actually, the wedding might have been just for show since they haven’t worked out the prenup yet. Anychynasclitistinglingoverthis…
People confirms that Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom in Beverly Hills tonight after dating for about three and a half minutes. The two became husband and beast in front of 250 guests including Ryan Gaycrest, Kelly Osbourne, Kobe Bryant, Lara Spencer, Chelsea Handler, Lala Vasquez and a dozen cameras from E!. Yes, it was as intimate as Katie Couric’s colon exam.
Khloe was walked down the aisle by Bruce Jenner, his old face, Kim Kardashian, Kim’s fat ass and Kourtney. She wore a gown made by Vera Wang and the guests gave her an A+++ for her tuck game. Khloe’s bridesmaids included her two half-sisters Kendall and Kylie who entertained the weddings guests with their pole dancing skills.
The wedding went off without a hitch. Well, there only one awkward moment. When white doves were released during the ceremony, Khloe jumped up into the air, caught one with her mouth and bit its head off. It’s instinct!
Let’s all stick our asses up in the air and fart one out for the newest spokescouple for marriage and true love! I’m sure they’ll prove us hating bitches wrong (no they won’t).