The Jokes Write Themselves: Marilyn Manson Has The Oinks

September 23, 2009 / Posted by:

The human (that’s debatable) version of a Hot Topic bobble head, Marilyn Manson, will have to spend a few days resting in his coffin because he says he has the swine flu. Yeah, better late than never, I guess.

Marilyn said, “So I have officially been diagnosed, by a real doctor, with THE SWINE FLU. I know everyone will suggest that fucking a pig is how this disease was obtained. However, the doctor said, my past choices in women have in no way contributed to me acquiring this mysterious sickness. Unfortunately, I am going to survive.”

I would never suggest that Marilyn got it by boning a pig. However, I would suggest that he got it from doing massive amounts of oral with chocolate covered bacon, chicharrónes, Honey Baked ham and pig pie.

VIA Prefix Magazine

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92 responses to “The Jokes Write Themselves: Marilyn Manson Has The Oinks”

  1. dreadpiratecuervo says:

    You know this dude has totally fucked an actual pig, like one that can be cut up for yummy bacon.

    you’re about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop – Patches O’Houlihan

  2. LolaBella says:

    Holy Hell, I thought that was Megan Fox for a split second.

    ———————————————–

    Live Your Life Like Brian Kinney Said:
    No Excuses, No Apologies, No Regrets.

  3. kittycatastrophe says:

    Swine Flu = OD’d

    __________________________________________________
    I am not a pussy.

  4. DeeDee2 says:

    His comment proves that he is a male chauvinist PIG. I can’t stand this man!!!!

  5. EvilShoe says:

    Hate him. Alice Cooper wanna be.

  6. putsomestankonit says:

    He’s too old for his goth freak show persona. He’s a pathetic human being and maybe he should think about why all those women left this skanky ass to begin with.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    “I’m a black robot, motherfucker.”

  7. jack-n-the-hat says:

    “did not get it by fucking a pig…” Yo Manson, please see my sig…
    _____________________________________________
    KEEP FUCKIN THAT CHICKEN!

  8. suckandfuck says:

    Fuck, Marilyn Manson was so fun back in high school.

  9. iHeartHaters says:

    Submitted by EvilShoe on Wed, 09/23/2009 – 8:33am.
    Hate him. Alice Cooper wanna be.
    ~~~~~~~~~~

    LOL I was thinking Alice Cooper lite =))

    (¯`’•.¸(¯`’•.¸♥¸.•’´¯)¸.•’´¯)

    2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.

    “Sam put drugs in Britney’s biscuits”

  10. No Words says:

    Gawd…fuckery abounds this morning.

    I can’t stand MM…he used to be edgy; now his shtick is old and tired, just like him. Oh, he wishes he’d died…wow. Nauseating douchebag.

  11. freebird says:

    I think doctors should be more responsible. Just because it looks like a pig, acts like a pig and smells like a pig does not mean it is swine flu. Although I am now totally pissed at the illuminati for not making a more virulent strain of this shit.

  12. Mr. Mercury says:

    Is Miss Manson relevant any more?

    “Rhoda, we’re all aware that you’re an adroit liar”

  13. EvilShoe says:

    Don’t look too close at the photo. I just saw the dripping of spit on his chin and I just ate!

    *hurls*

  14. Dr. Dick says:

    Attention Grim Reaper: Here’s an a good one for you.

  15. freebird says:

    Was it the double chin that gave it away?

  16. EvilShoe says:

    This fucker is going to be reason #1 the government passes that law to force you into quarantine if your ass has something like the Swine Flu.

    This bitch was spitting on the audience after saying he had it?

  17. freebird says:

    Can you imagine that coming at your face or your vadge? AAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!

  18. islandgirl says:

    Submitted by freebird on Wed, 09/23/2009 – 8:35am.
    Was it the double chin that gave it away?
    ———————————
    free, I think it was the curly tail.

  19. mike says:

    He was NEVER edgy (nor was Alice Cooper). Trying to be edgy negates all edginess.

  20. Neverevenknewhim says:

    I think the illness fits him well. BTW – you’re lucky you ever had a woman.

  21. EvilShoe says:

    Submitted by mike on Wed, 09/23/2009 – 8:37am.

    He was NEVER edgy (nor was Alice Cooper). Trying to be edgy negates all edginess.
    ______________________________

    True. Alice sure did have awesome concerts though, some of the most calm people who wanted to watch the magic show. I’ve seen them, they were pretty cool, but never went to a show live.

  22. freebird says:

    Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 09/23/2009 – 8:37am.

    Submitted by freebird on Wed, 09/23/2009 – 8:35am.
    Was it the double chin that gave it away?
    ———————————
    free, I think it was the curly tail.
    ****
    BWAHAHAHAH! And maybe the squealing Deliverance style.

  23. jack-n-the-hat says:

    thebeautifulpeople
    thebeautifulpeople
    duh duh!!

    startedbackdrinkingcoffeethismorningandmayhavehadtoomuch!!
    _____________________________________________
    KEEP FUCKIN THAT CHICKEN!

  24. moomarse says:

    Submitted by dreadpiratecuervo on Wed, 09/23/2009 – 8:30am.
    You know this dude has totally fucked an actual pig, like one that can be cut up for yummy bacon.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Prob did ~ but IT didn’t give him the flu!
    It was actually a sheep, but they haven’t discovered ewe-flu yet.
    ****************************************************
    pussies going spastic usually make me feel queasy – MK

  25. Suzy Farkis says:

    What a bratty little child.

    I remember seeing him on Dinner for Five, that show Jon Favreau did where he invited four dinner guests to have a conversation and this dink was there. He didn’t take even a second to listen to anyone else and interrupted constantly as if his was the only opinion that mattered.

    I love that he’s so destroyed by Evan and Dita. Hope it hurts.

  26. AnonymousBastard says:

    Manson’s a fatty, they took away my black clove smokes and I’m a PTA mom. My gothy childhood is officially over.

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