Making “The Slut List” Is The Highest Honor Of All Honors

September 23, 2009 / Posted by:

On The View this morning, the hens were yapping about a major problem currently plaguing New Jersey’s Millburn High School, one of the top schools in the nation. Parents and administrators are trying to figure out what to do about a decade-long tradition called “The Slut List.” Every year, a group of popular senior girls create a list of the biggest sluts of the incoming freshmen class along with creative descriptions next to their names. Here’s some examples:

I’m so desperate and hairy that I’ll give you drugs for free if you get with me.

Keeping up with the family tradition, fuck me … and knock me up.

Wait, how did they get a copy of my high school yearbook?

In addition to the slut list, girls also slap stickers on the backs of freshmen with beautiful
complimentary words like “SLUT” and “WHORE” written on them. Hey, that’s exactly what I wear to the bars on a Friday night. Idea STEALERS!

An e-mail has already gone out warning students that if found, the slut-makers responsible for the list will be punished.

And some of the students have laughed this shit off, saying it’s just a joke. One student said, “It wasn’t anything bad … . What people don’t see is it’s getting so much better, and it’s turned from a bad thing into a fun thing.”

Now, that is the slut spirit right there! Fuck making the honor roll! It’s all about making the slut list. Why shoot for valedictorian when you can be valedickwhorian?

At my high school, we didn’t have an official “slut list.” Instead, bitches simply wrote down the names of the sluts (along with their phone numbers) on the urinal wall of the boy’s bathroom. Every single day, I would go in there, hoping to see my name….but I never did. Every day, my dreams were crushed and trampled upon.

That’s why when I grew up, I created my own slut list. It’s called Dlisted.com.

VIA ABC News

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