The Real Bitch Is Back

September 22, 2009 / Posted by:

The new Melrose Place is lacking….well….EVERYTHING. What that shit needs is a genuine bitch in a power suit to stroll in there and slap some excitement into it. Well, first they need someone to slap Asshole Simpson, because bitch is always asleep at the acting wheel. Asshole’s elbows play a more pivotal role in that show than she does. Those who watch this crap know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, back to the bitch at hand. UsWeekly says that Amanda Woodward will return to Melrose Place to beat ass and take names! Amanda will make her first appearance on the November 17th episode. Amanda needs to take a page out of Kimberly’s crazybook and blow that BITCH up again, because they need to start over again.

The show’s executive producers issued this statement: “Heather’s involvement in the show is something we’ve been working on for some time as we couldn’t imagine creating and producing this show without the iconic character’s inclusion.”

Now that the light of Melrose Place has returned, maybe that show won’t be so damn dark anymore. Like, literally dark. I know most of the new hos on that show are dim bulbs, but that shit is ridiculous! Seriously, turn a light on. Watching that mess makes me feel like I have cataracts.

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