Posh Works Out Five Times A Day

September 22, 2009 / Posted by:

Haven’t you ever wondered how Posh keeps her body looking like the thinnest suppository in the box? Well, according to sources, she works out constantly. And no, I’m not talking about the good ole’ “Kneel, Purge and Wipe” exercise. No, she goes to the actual gym.

A source said that Posh is so sick excess skin on her body that she works out before and after she eats. The source told Showbiz Spy, “She could probably sort it out by just putting on excess weight. But obviously she won’t! So Vic now works out before and after eating, and it’s even increased her appetite.

Posh’s fitness regime includes running on the treadmill, lifting weights and Pilates.

LIFTING WEIGHTS?! What the hell kind of weights is she lifting? An unlit matchstick?! And what excess skin are they talking about?! Posh’s skin is probably weepy, because it’s HONGRAY and malnourished. It’s got the sads!

The only workout Posh needs to do is the kind you do at Old Country Buffet. Trust me, that is a real workout. You have to slide out of the booth, walk over to the buffet, pick up a tray, put a piece of fried chicken on a plate, pick up the gravy boat, pour and then walk back. Exhausting! Some bitches have to train for weeks for that kind of marathon. And don’t even get me started on what it takes to make a sundae at the ice cream station. That’s like advanced aerobics.

Here’s the walking skinpick wearing a dress made from a single napkin while leaving a fashion week party in London last night.

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