OH GOD NO: Please Don’t Tell Me Another Kardashian Is Knocked Up

September 18, 2009 / Posted by:

According to sources (aka all the Kardashian skanks), Khloe Kardashian is going to marry L.A. Lakers player Lamar Odom, who she has been dating for approximately 15-seconds. Sources confirm the news to People, E! and UsWeekly. The latter claims they will be married in about two weeks once they get the OK from the state of California that a human man and a beast can legally marry.

The source said, “Khloe and Lamar want to get married before Lamar has to go away for training, and the season starts up. They are hoping to pull together a wedding within the next two weeks so they can get married and have time for a honeymoon. They haven’t decided where they will say ‘I Do,’ but they are scouting out numerous locations, including Khloe’s family home in Calabasas, CA.

The marriage will be the first for both. Lamar currently has a 10-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old son with a former girlfriend. They also had a second son together who passed away from SIDS a few years ago.

Okay, Khloe and Lamar have been dating a little longer than 15-seconds. Apparently, they’ve been rubbing peens for a few weeks now. This worries me. Does this mean Khloe is currently housing a beast baby in her stomach?! NOOOO! It’s the end of the world as we know it. Once Khloe pops out her BABY!!!, it will leap from her vag and wreak havoc on the entire world. Doomed.

And do we really need another knocked Kardashian yap-yap-yapping about everything from her pregnant queefs to the fact that doesn’t even really know how babies are made.

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