Dancing with the Soon-To-Be ER Patients hasn’t even premiered yet and it has already suffered its first injury. People reports that CHERYL BURKE’S partner, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, wrecked his foot yesterday after he tried to pull it out of his mouth. No, he effed it up during rehearsal and had to shuffle off to the hospital. Tom didn’t have a stress fracture in his hoof, so doctors gave him the go-ahead to continue rehearsing. The show will go on.
When I first read this shit, I figured Mop Head’s voodoo black magic powers back(fat)fired on her. But now the more I think about it, it’s clear that Mop Head was trying to take her own partner out! It’s obvious that Tom DeLay has the rhythm of a toilet. So CHERYL BURKE sprinkled her powers of destruction (aka a few splashes of Mop ‘N Glo) all over the floor hoping he would slip, fall and break a bone or twenty. That way he’d have to bow out and Mop Head would get a new partner. Smart mop.
Thankfully, Mop Head’s powers are a little rusty, so she was unable to complete her mission…THIS TIME. Mop Head will try again, so Tom should beware and keep a Swiffer at his side at all times.