It’s Hard Out There For Chris Brown
Chris Brown began his first day of community service today in Richmond, Virginia. Chris spent the day pulling out weeds with his beaver teeth, picking up trash (the jokes write themselves) and destroying horse shit by flinching at it. They should have punished him even more by making him wear that precious powder blue sweater and bow-tie.
It didn’t take long for the paparazzi and “fans” to find out where Chris was. Yeah, it didn’t take long, because Chris sent them a smoke signal in the form of a tweet before he left his house. Chris even posted a picture of him in his “community service outfit” on his aptly named Twitter account Mechanical Dummy. Seriously, it’s like he’s bragging about his weed pullin’ ensemble. I won’t be surprised if Chris leaves his final day of community service in a sparkly gown ala Naomi Campbell.
Below is footage of Chris wacking weeds and waving to the fans. It’s a hard life. If you’re in the area, you should drive by and say “hi” to Chris. And by “say hi,” I mean dump all your used tampons near him.
“Yo, Chris Brown, I know you’re picking up trash and all and Imma let you finish, but Boy George is the best trash picker-upper of all-time.” – Kanye
