Pebbles The Cat Should Have Sang Back-Up On This

This is Susan Boyle’s first single off of her upcoming debut album “Cat Ladies Do It Better.” SuBo blows her hummingbird voice all over the Rolling Stones’ song “Wild Horses.” Personally, I wish she would’ve switched it up a bit by changing the lyrics to “Wild Eyebrows,” but that’s just me.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. Parts of it makes my soul wants to cuddle up with a faux fur and sip on Chamomile tea while watching a tear-inducing Lifetime movie starring Melissa Gilbert. But the other parts of it are making my ear hair sweat (I’m getting it trimmed today, OK!).

I’ll have plenty of opportunities to completely analyze this shit, because I have a feeling it will be played at every Walgreens, in every elevator and at every single gay wedding. Prepare yourself.

And here’s the most FAMOUS woman in the world taking Los Angeles by storm yesterday. SuBo will perform at the finale for America’s Got Talent this week. Check your local listings, because there’s a bong calling my name and I can’t be bothered to look up when exactly that shit is airing.