So all the tests have come back and a source says that South African runner Caster Semenya (Go ahead and laugh at the semen in her name AGAIN) has both lady and dude parts. Hey, it happens. Just look at Chyna.
Caster was forced to undergo gender tests by the International Association of Athletics Federations after she won the gold in the women’s 800-meter last month in Berlin. Officials believed something in the milk wasn’t clean about Caster, so they sent in the peen finders.
According to a source who saw the results, Caster doesn’t have a womb or ovaries and has “internal testes” (that’s nuts in her vag for those of you who don’t speak medical-talk). Caster also has three times the testosterone of a regular woman. Fun fact: Brooke Hogan has a hundred times the testosterone of a bull in heat.
Caster has apparently been advised to undergo surgery, because she could face some fucked up health shit in the future.
The NYDN reports that officials are trying to decide whether or not they should take away Caster’s gold medal. Caster’s career in competitive racing is also up in the air. No official announcement or confirmation from the IAAF has been made.
It kind of sucks for Caster that the whole world knows about her private parts business. It reminds of when I was a kid and I went to JcPenney’s with my mom. I was on my way to the bathroom when some saleslady stopped me and said, “Oh. What a cute little girl! Your curls are just so pretty!” My cunt gene wasn’t fully developed then, so I just smiled and walked right into the men’s room while hearing her say “Oh. Oops.” That stupid bitch!
Caster, do what I didn’t do back then and tell all of them to suck on your “internal testes,” because you’re keeping the medal!