Took His Old Ass Long Enough

September 9, 2009 / Posted by:

Hugh Hefner and his wife Kimberly Conrad haven’t been together “like that” for over 10 years, but they have never divorced. Suddenly, Hef has decided to snip the cord and set Kimberly free. TMZ reports that Hef filed for divorce on Friday citing the good ole’ “irreconcilable differences.” Hef and Kimberly got married on July 1, 1989, but have been separated since January 12, 1998.

Hef says that the reason why he’s legally quitting Kimberly’s ass now is because she recently filed a $5 million lawsuit against him. Kimberly sued Hef after he fucked her by selling the house she and their sons were living in, which is next to the Playboy mansion.

In the documents, Hef states that he’s already given Kimberly around $12 million, so he feels like he should only pay her $20,000 a month in spousal support.

You know, Hef could probably get away with paying her ass nothing due to the fact that their marriage is not valid. The last time I checked, humans and zombies could not legally get married in the State of California.

In possibly related news, a crazy blonde bitch in a white wedding dress was seen pulling up to the Playboy mansion IN THIS.

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