Ellen Pompeo might be the new Bridget Moynahan/Mary Louise-Parker. You see, Star Magazine says that while Ellen currently is baking one of those baby loafs in her womb oven, her 41-year-old husband Chris Ivery is out getting loose with a teenager. So while Ellen is in Lamaze class, Chris is also practicing his heavy breathing while his peen is poking a teenager’s vagina. Okay.
Chris’ alleged mistress, 19-year-old Rachel Artz, said she met him back in May at the Boston-area restaurant she works at. Rachel said, “Yes, I had sexual relations with Chris. We were intimate several times.” Sexual relations? Who the hell does Rachel think she is? Bill Clinton? Drop the proper-talk and speak like a real slut. You all fucked! Let’s be real with each other.
A few sources added that Chris and Rachel did illegal sexy times at different hotels in Boston as well as his house on Martha’s Vineyard. One source said, “Chris promised Rachel that he’d make her a star — that’s his lure. Chris often took calls from Ellen in front of Rachel and talked about their baby-to-be. He didn’t seem to like Ellen much when he talked about her. He made her seem like a diva.”
While I’m not saying I don’t believe this mess, I will say that Rachel needs to come harder (not like that). I’m going to need pictures, videos, measurements, DNA samples, etc… etc…
Any ole’ crazy slut can run down the street screaming, “I FUCKED ANDERSON COOPER” (Yeah, that was me), so Rachel is going to need to hand over a brightly-lit color picture of Chris’ fully erect peen for us to believe her.