The answer is a loud ass YESSSSSSSSSS!!!! You know, a bunch of you sent me this story, but the best e-mail came from a smart ass bitch who wrote in the subject: “This is you in 30 years.” SCRAGS BITCHES! If that e-mailer was a screaming 2-year-old child in a Walmart, I’d slap the smartness right out of them!
So, we all know pepaws are not the one! If they aren’t happy with you, they will let you know in the form of a slappity slap slap to the face! That’s exactly what 61-year-old Roger Stephens did when he came in contact with a screeching 2-year-old at a Walmart in Stone Mountain, Georgia.
CNN reports that on Monday afternoon, Roger approached a woman whose child was crying as they walked down one of the aisles. Roger, who was probably shopping for laxatives and prunes (the proof is in his face), warned the mother, “If you don’t shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you.” Roger then walked away.
A few minutes later, the child was still screaming in another aisle and Roger kept his word. He walked up to the child, grabbed her, slapped her right in the face five times and told the mother, “See, I told you I would shut her up.” Surprisingly enough, the woman didn’t immediately run to Walmart’s gun section, grab a revolver and use it to pistol whip that pepaw. No, instead she screamed for security. Roger was arrested and charged with first-degree cruelty to children, a felony. Roger will answer to the charge in court today.
The police said that the child had a “slight redness” in the face. Roger apparently apologized to the mother right before he was put in handcuffs.
We’ve all been in a situation where a child is trying to kill your soul with a high-pitched screech that will wake the dead. That’s why the gods created booze and the good shit. Roger needed to use his hands to light a bong! Smoke a bowl, grandpa! It’s not that serious. Let the good shit save you.
And since we’re on the subject of screaming children. Here’s a video of a woman reacting to a crying child on a plane. When all else fails, throw the child (and their mother) a side-eye the devil would run from.