Candy Spelling’s New Wallpaper

September 3, 2009 / Posted by:

Yup, you better believe one of Candy Spelling’s powder rooms is going to be wallpapered from top to bottom with this mess. Shit, Candy probably had something to do with it.

In this week’s Star Magazine, they go inside (Why are we always going inside?!) Tori Spelling’s gutter of a marriage to Dean McDermott. One of Dean’s dear friends, Michael Olifiers, says that he’s only with Tori for the money and fame. Michael, who probably won’t be getting a Hanukkah/Christmas basket from Tori this year, said, “There is no question Dean is with Tori for the money and the fame. Dean’s always been desperate to become famous. He craved being in the spotlight and Tori’s his ticket to that life.”

Tori and Dean met on the set of some Lifetime movie when they were both married to other hos. Michael said that Dean’s first words about Tori weren’t exactly filled with hearts and rainbows. Apparently, the night before he had to kiss her in a scene, Dean told Michael, “I can’t believe I have to kiss her. She looks like a horse!

Michael said that after meeting Tori, Dean quit his wife and leeched on to Tori’s vagina in order to get famous. When they were about to get married, Dean convinced Tori to not make him sign a prenup, because he thought she would inherit millions after her father passed away. But Michael said that when Dean found out Aaron Spelling didn’t leave her a fortune, “he was livid.

Michael said that Tori and Dean are only together, because they make a living from their reality show, “They do everything and anything to make money from their fame.

Okay, who doesn’t do everything and anything to make money? Just ask the welts on my butt cheeks (It’s a long sordid dark story that I don’t want to get into).

And does Michael not believe that true love can exist between a homewrecking gold-digging creepmeister and a homewrecking mare? Has Michael never seen My Friend Flicka? Netflix it, you dumb fuck.

Tori is already shitting on this story! Last night, Tori’s publicist, Mr. Twitter, released this clear and concise statement: Dean&I read STAR 2gthr&were grossed out@uncreative lies but made us appreciateR life&love more&made us sad4those tht spread lies.Bad Mo Jo!

Yeah, I have no idea what she wrote either. I know it must be hard to type with hooves, but Tori could’ve let Dean do the Twittering.

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