Not Olive Oyl!!

Shelley Duvall hasn’t made a movie since 2002 and the neighbors in her town say it’s because she’s too busy trying to keep the aliens from taking over her body. L. Ron Hubbard just jizzed in his chonies. So did Fox Mulder.

One neighbor of Shelley’s in Blanco, Texas told The Globe (via CM) that she has been seen patrolling her backyard late at night, because she really believes her home is a portal for aliens. Another neighbor said that Shelley thinks she can communicate with aliens by flashing her car’s headlights. The owner of a local hardware store also co-signed Shelley’s obsession with aliens, “She mutters to herself and talks about aliens living in her body. One time she came in and asked for dirt and boards to block up a hole in her backyard because, she said, ‘That’s a portal into another dimension. That’s where the aliens are coming in.’”

You know, watching The Shining effs with my brains a bit, so I can’t even imagine how it fucked with Shelley. That being said, the whores of Blanco need to stop blabbing about Shelley’s boner for alien shit. Seriously, if Tommy Girl hears about this, he’s going to FedEx Stepford Katie back to Dawson’s Creek, head to Blanco and make Shelley Duvall his next beard! We can’t let that happen to Olive Oyl!