Jon Gosselin Is Living His Dream

August 30, 2009 / Posted by:

Jon Grosslin’s douche express made a stop over in Las Vegas yesterday so that he could host a pool party at Wet Republic at the MGM Grand. Even if MGM paid his ass in Ed Hardy diapers, a pair of CZ studs from Spencer’s Gifts and a new potted plastic plant (for Hailey), then they still overpaid. MGM could’ve just put a lukewarm bottle of Summer’s Eve on one of the lounge chairs and it would’ve been the exact same thing.

IN THIS ECONOMY, a check is a check, but what the hell is next for J.Gross? A rap album (Titled: 99 Problems and Kate is all of them)? A Girls Gone Wild video? Ick Nast. But at least Jon kept his Pillsbury dough moobs under wraps, so that was nice of him.

But enough about Jon and his neverending early mid-life crisis, let’s talk about the glamorous beauty that is his mother! Now that Kate’s rabid possum isn’t around to maul her eyeballs, it’s safe for her to come out and douche it up with her son!

Look at Mama Gosselin keeping it sessy in her visor while posing with the fly honeys (copyright: Marky Mark). Speaking of the fly honeys, the one posing with Mama Gosselin in the third thumbnail below is squeezing those thighs for dear life, because I think bitch’s little friend is about to steal the spotlight. Tuck game FAIL! Squeeze, bitch, squeeze!

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