Joe Francis Says Brody Jenner Has A Small Peen

On Thursday night in Los Angeles, a discarded tampon and a pre-owned butt plug got into a fight at Guys and Dolls nightclub. We’ve already heard Brody Jenner’s version of the douche battle royale and now here’s Joe Francis’.

Joe tells E! News that contrary to Brody’s version, he never delivered a massive beat down on Jayde Nicole. Joe said that he was minding his own business when Jayde pushed at him and threw her drink all over him. Joe said he might of “accidentally” pulled her hair when he turned around to confront her, but never punched her in the face or kicked her. The next thing Joe knew, Brody was beating his ass and ripping his shirt off. For some reason, that last part didn’t make my b-lips tingle. It made them wrinkle up even more.

Joe said that the security tapes will show what really happened, “I’m the victim. Brody hit me in the face. I’ve never hit a girl in my life and the accusation disgusts me.” Then Joe said that Brody has a million issues including having “smallest penis in Hollywood.” This coming from one of the biggest DICKHEAD in Hollywood.

In Brody’s defense, Joe does have a face that was produced by Everlast, because you just want to punch it. I’m sure that most of you are sitting on your fists right now (use lube) to keep from punching your monitor. It’s a natural reaction to seeing Joe’s butt plug of a face.

As for Brody having the tiniest peen rod in all the land, bring us proof, Joe! We know you have a giant picture of it hanging in front of your dildo chair.