Douche Battle Royale

August 28, 2009 / Posted by:

The LAPD is currently looking for douchemeister extraordinaire Joe Francis after he allegedly Chris Brown-ed Brody Jenner’s girlfriend Jayde Nicole. If that didn’t make your vagina squeaky clean, it gets better (or worse, depending on how you look at it).

It all started at Guys and Dolls nightclub early this morning in Los Angeles. Brody told TMZ that Jayde witnessed Joe trying to put the moves one of his ex-girlfriends. For some reason, Jayde didn’t like this, so she threw her drink on Joe. You know how you’re not supposed to give a Gremlin water? Well, you’re not supposed to throw booze on a douchebag, because it strengthens their douchiness.

After Jayde wasted a perfectly good DRANK on Joe, he grabbed her by the hair, punched her in the face, threw her to the ground and started kicking at her. Security threw a little menstrual fluid on Joe which caused him to run out of the club. Brody immediately followed Joe outside and busted him in the face. Brody was then tasered by someone and Joe managed to get away.

The police are currently looking for Joe. Jayde says she will press charges against Joe.

And the video is where? I mean, Joe getting fisted in his fugly mug and Brody getting tasered in his ass?! We finally know the true reason why they were both put on this earth! It was so all of us could witness their asses getting socked and shocked! Git that video! Everyone’s happiness depends on it.

By the way, this entire fight was sponsored by Ed Hardy.

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