Dear Dakota, Invest In A Camera With A Good Red Eye Blocker

August 28, 2009 / Posted by:

Summit Entertainment released a few stills of the evil vampire clan known as the Volturi from Twilight. Now, I’ve never read any of the Twilight books, so I’m just guessing they are made of evil based on their shiny Hot Tamales eyes. Speaking of those eyes, director Chris Weitz says they had the ruby red contacts specially made, “They’re opaque red, almost like preying mantis eyes. You can’t really see into them. There’s something terribly off-putting about it.”

Um. They paid too much. My goth cholita cousin has contacts just like that and she got hers at the swap meet for $19.99! Yes, one of them made her eyeballs cry bloody tears, but at least her wallet isn’t crying. And that’s all that matters!

Below are pictures of the rest of the Volturi bitches including: Christopher Heyerdahl as Marcus, Michael Sheen as Aro, Cameron Bright (the creepy kid from Birth) as Alec, Dakota Fanning as Jane and Jamie Campbell Bower as Caius.

If they were wearing creepers and carrying coffin lunch boxes, they’d look exactly like the goth kids at my high school.

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