Avril Lavigne hasn’t really been in the spotlight for a while, because she’s been busy scuba diving in a Jack Daniels bottle. Or maybe people just can’t be bothered to lift their heads to see what she’s been up to. I don’t know. But I do know that Gatecrasher is saying that the rumors about her 3-year-old marriage to Deryck Whibley being in the shit hole are true. Avril and Deryck haven’t been photographed together since last year and sources are saying it’s because he doesn’t approve of her drunken slutty ways.
This past weekend, Avril was spotted in Southampton partying with anybody with a peen. When a few paps got pictures of her with other dudes, Avril demanded that they delete that shit so there wouldn’t be any evidence. Earlier in the summer, Avril was in St. Tropez without her husband and bitches were saying that she was acting like she wasn’t married.
Oh, poor Deryck. Dude already looks like a bulldog’s ass after getting penetrated with a taser gun, so I’m sure he looks extra grisly when he gets the sads. Deryck should definitely drop The Big D on Avril and present this evidence to the divorce judge:
That’s Avril with Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis. GUILTY!!!!!!! The judge will immediately grant the divorce and give EVERYTHING to Deryck.