Is Jennifer Aniston A Starfucker?

August 25, 2009 / Posted by:

Yes, that picture looks like Gerard Butler is sticking the tip in from the back. It has just become Jennifer Aniston’s life screensaver. Moving on….

Is Maddox guest editing UsWeekly again, because they wrote up a post about how the loneliest living thing in the world will only date dudes with high Google rankings. If you haven’t been on the cover of a tabloid in the past couple of weeks, Jenny isn’t fucking with you and you’ll never ever see her collection of Real Baby Dolls.

Some source close to Jenny said, “Jennifer won’t date a normal guy. She goes after the hottest thing of the moment, what she knows will get her the most time in the spotlight.”

Let’s test this little accusation, shall we? In the past few years, Jenny has been linked to Gerry Butler, Bradley Cooper, John Mayer, Paul Sculfor and Vince Vaughn. Besides Paul, all of them are sort-of famous. But none of those dudes are really going to take Jennifer Aniston’s fame to the next level. She has to date someone whose star shines brighter than hers.

That means she can only share candlelit dinners (at a popular restaurant so everyone can see) with the likes of: Spaghetti Cat or Keyboard Cat. Actually, I’m pretty sure Keyboard Cat doesn’t date down, so Spaghetti Cat it is! Fuck Brangie! Hollywood’s premiere IT couple is now SPAGANISTON!

And here’s some pictures of one half of Spaganiston shooting with Gerry Butler in Queens, NY yesterday.

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