On last night’s episode of Police Women of Broward County (love that shit!), I learned a new favorite excuse. It all started when Officer Paltrow O’Day Manzo rolled up to the front of a convenience store, because she heard some bitches were smoking the good shit. When she checked one of the ladies, who we’ll call Mary McTittyWeed, a bit of heaven’s weed fell out of her bra. CAUGHT. Or was she?
Mary played that “huh…wha…how” shit. Then Mary confirmed to all of us that she’s the genius of all geniuses with an IQ of over ten zillion when she said that the wind must have blew the weed into her bra! THIS BITCH! Mary said she was hanging out with her sister-in-law, who was smoking weed, and her stash must’ve taken the wind express right into her bubby area. Unfortunately, the cops didn’t buy it after finding another stash in her purse and they took her to the jail house. Mary was totally telling the truth. The wind should have been arrested, not her.
The “wind” excuse will work for almost any situation. Let’s say you get caught sucking a peen belonging to your best friend’s man. Just say, “Oh, I was gazing at the beautiful stars above with my mouth open and the wind blew his dick into my mouth.” See, it works!