The House Of GOOP Is Getting Bigger

Fishsticks Paltrow and Chris Martin snatched up the house next to theirs in London and are expanding the House of GOOP into a mega 33-room mansion.

Fishy’s new pad will now have 8 rooms on the ground floor, six on the upper ground, five on the first floor and eight on the second. They are all adding a two-story extension which will house 3 bedrooms, a gym, a changing room and a bathroom.

The Daily Mail seems to think Fishy is biting off Vadge’s idea, because she did the same thing a while ago, but the POOPY one really had no choice.

First of all, there were not enough rooms in her house to store all her jars of cuntiness and bullshit. Second of all, nobody in the house could sleep through the night, because Fishy’s ego snores like a drunk walrus with allergies. Third of all, Fishy couldn’t risk non-Goopers moving next door. If she sniffs even the slightest scent of anything that us peons feed on, she’ll get the angries and takes out her frustrations by writing another GOOP post. Nobody wants that.