Panty Creamer Of The Morning

Here’s something to cleanse your palette after the diarrhea-covered atrocity below. Nothing will make you wet in the mouth and tingly in the genitals faster than a big piece of greasy manstick. And today’s serving is courtesy of Eggs from True Blood. Eggs made peen holes sing and pussies faint when he brought out his buttery nipples at yesterday’s Tag the World Celebrity Charity Triathlon in Waikiki, Hawaii. Bitch is all lubed up and ready to go!

Other “celebrity” contestants at the triathlon tried to make hos bust cream in their panties, but nobody brought it like Eggs. Jeremy Jackson (aka Hobie from Baywatch) is sort of giving me peen goose bumps, but dude still looks like he suffers from meth dick, which is the worst kind. You know, meth dick is when it shrinks up a bit and barfs after 2 quick seconds of hard awkward pounding. That’s some “I want mah money back” dick.

Also, Andy Baldwin, that Bachelor dude who breaks my gaydar every time, got half-nekkid, but he does nothing for me. It’s like staring at a soggy bowl of Grape Nuts. Nothing.