Katie Price’s Clean Image Is In Danger

Katie Price’s friends and managers are begging her to drop her latest dick after details of some movie he shot a while ago were released. Katie’s piece, Alex Reid, stars in a movie called Killer Bitch, which features him raping a girl played by actress Yvette Rowland. In the scene, Alex grabs her by the neck, chokes her a bit, pulls down his chonies and then does her. This has made Katie’s aides all nervous-like, because they think this will ruin her “family-friendly image.” I’ll wait here while you go and get some Windex to clean up the Tang (with a splash of Bacardi) you spit up on your monitor after reading that last part.

One friend told The Mirror, “It’s very seedy. A number of friends and her media advisers feel her relationship with Alex will be detrimental to both her and her career. They desperately want her to leave him before it’s too late. Pete’s beyond outraged by this new low. He thinks it’s absolutely disgusting and can’t believe his children are spending time in the presence of this man.”

Yes, this will definitely tarnish Katie’s good name since she is such a pristine virgin flower who wilts when you even curse in front of her. Cue Harvey shouting: “BITCH, PLEASE!”

Before Jodie Marsh came on the scene, Katie was the skankest skank who ever skanked (aww…memories). So her boyfriend’s “fake rap scene” is nothing. Her friends need to stop worrying about stupid shit like this and focus on more important things: LIKE KATIE’S BUSTED TO SHIT WEAVE! Get that bitch a garden hoe so that she can tame the weed nest on her head. It looks like she accidentally dropped a cookie crumb in her hair and Harvey went crazy to try and find it.

I also don’t approve of those obese tarantula legs on her eyes, but I understand why she’s wearing them. Those things block her vision a bit, so that when she looks at her boyfriend’s Quasimodo face, she doesn’t get the full effect.

Here’s Katie and her lovah on holiday in Cadiz, Spain yesterday.