Milla Got Married

August 23, 2009 / Posted by:

Milla Jovovich, star of the epic shit show that is Return to the Blue Lagoon, married film director Paul W.S. Anderson (not to be confused with the dude who did Boogie Nights) in Beverly Hills yesterday. The two have been sexing each other up for around 7 years now. They have one 20-month-old daughter they named Ever Gabo, which kinds of sounds like “Forever Gumbo.” Gumbo is delicious, so that name works for me. Anyway, this is Milla’s third time at the marriage rodeo.

People says that Milla wore a vintage wedding dress and hair decorations you can buy yourself in the napkin ring section at Pier 1 Imports.

Judging by some of the pictures below, it looks like Milla ended her night by passing out face first in the wedding cake with her dress pulled up to her waist. Seriously, drunk brides are the best. If you’re a bride, it’s your duty to get boozed in a major way. It’s what your guests want.

And I hope Milla serenaded her guests with this beautiful tune. I’ve been known to blast this mess on my iPod. It’s like taking an air bath in one of Enya’s queefs.

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