For the second time in three months, LiLo’s Casa de Cokey has been broken into by a bunch of thieves! When she got home from NYC this morning, she found out that some hos had ripped the safe out of the wall and stolen a bunch of watches. Apparently, it was all caught on surveillance video.
LiLo did the first thing you do when you’ve been robbed, she called Michael Lohan. Probably because she figured his ass did it.
Michael called 911 and then he called TMZ (of course). Michael said he believes it’s an inside job, because Blohan’s assistants conveniently forgot to turn the security system on. Then Michael said something that proves he’s either: a) still on the bad shit b) got the crazies in a serious way c) is just trying to get his daughter to pay his car note or d) all of the above. This is what Michael said, “I am not going to put up with individuals violating my family. Lindsay is a charitable, generous person that always gives. This is a personal violation and it has got to stop.” The answer is “D,” right?
If by “charitable and generous,” he means that she sometimes let’s her friends snort a third of her line, then okay. The Saintress of 8 Balls is Lindsay Lohan.
Michael Lohan wasn’t the only one who was going to get a little attention from his daughter getting robbed. Nope, White Oprah put on her shiniest shoes and tap danced over to People to sing her statement about the whole thing. White Oprah queefed, “Ali and Linds just left me in New York, and left people in charge to pack, as we are moving her to a safer place. She is okay, but upset.”
LiLo needs to find a different surface to do her bad shit off of, because breaking dozens of mirrors has given her centuries of bad luck! But seriously, whoever broke in was probably just stealing their shit back from her.