When the doctor finally delivers Kourtney Kardashian’s baby, he’s probably going to wonder why chunks of its umbilical cord are missing. You tell the doctor that baby had no other choice but to tears off pieces of it to stick in its ears, because Kourtney would not shut the damn hell up!
Since Kourtney announced that she is knocked up, she hasn’t stopped talking. If you drive by her house, you’ll find her standing out front, mindlessly blabbing to the air. If you threw a soda can at her head, she’d keep on yapping. She wouldn’t even notice.
Some pregnant women get morning sickness, but Kourtney has morning/noon/night sickness, because she won’t stop barfing up words!
We already know way too much, but Kourtney is still telling us more. Here’s a few quotes from just the past couple of days.
Kourtney to Life & Style: “My baby saved my relationship!”
Kourtney to UsWeekly: “I think I’d pose nude while pregnant. I think so. I’d have to think about it.”
Kourtney to UsWeekly: “You know what’s weird? Like, I always thought, like, if I was pregnant I would eat like, McDonald’s or like, Taco Bell all day long or something. I’m not craving those things. Like, I’ve been craving, like, cold stuff like frozen yogurt and smoothies and like, I’ve been eating way more fruit then I used to eat before.”
Kourtney to E! Online: “I don’t think I have ever changed a diaper.”
Kourtney to E! Online: “I used to think, ‘Oh, just get a C-section and it’s done and easy and whatever.’”
Kourtney to E! Online: “I got tuna on a bagel and pickles and sauerkraut and then bagel chips dipped in thousand island dressing. But after that, I literally went home because I was so tired. I made Scott come home and take a nap with me.”
Kourtney to People: “Definitely you want to spoil your kids. But I want them to learn responsibility and want them to make their own money. My dad taught us that.”
Kourtney to People: “I think I am strict. “Even [my younger half-sisters] Kendall and Kylie say, ‘You are going to be the meanest mom,’ because one time at Disneyland I yelled at Kendall because she was throwing a brat attack, because my mom wouldn’t buy her a Tinkerbell shirt … I was like, ‘That’s not how you teach your kids!‘ ”
Kourtney to the birds flying by in the sky: “Blahblahblah….like blahBABY…like blahblahblahBABY”