From “Person Of Interest” To Murder Suspect

August 20, 2009 / Posted by:

Megan Wants A Millionaire’s very own Ryan Jenkins is no longer just aperson of interest.” He has been charged with the murder of his wife Jasmine Fiore and there’s a warrant out for his arrest. The police held a press conference today saying that they are currently trying to find his ass, so that they can drag him and bring him to justice.

Officials say Ryan busted out of the US last night and headed into Canada on foot. Maybe the real Sasquatch caught his ass and is holding him captive in his cave. It’s so obvious that Sasquatch is a Vh1 fan and is not happy that MWAM was taken off the air.

During the press conference, the police also offered more grisly details about Jasmine’s murder. They say her fingers and teeth were missing. Eesh. Thinkofpuppiesthinkofpuppies… They also have reason to believe that Ryan is armed with a gun. His bail has been set at $10 million.

Two months ago, Ryan hit Jasmine on the arm and was charged with domestic battery. He also has a record in Canada for domestic abuse. The production company that produces MWAM issued a statement saying they didn’t know about Ryan’s criminal record:

“51Minds was not aware of Ryan Jenkins’ record when it cast him on “Megan Wants a Millionaire.” Obviously, if the company had been given a full picture of his background, he would never have been allowed on the show.

The company did have in place what it thought was a thorough vetting process that involved complete background checks by an outside company for all contestants on its shows. Clearly, the process did not work properly in this case.

I think their full background checks consist of: checking to see if a bitch has been in rehab, has a file at the free clinic, has nekkid pictures on the internet or has been arrested for selling their fuck parts for a slice of pizza. If the answer is “yes” to at least 3 of those things, they are warmly welcomed into the Vh1 family!

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