Things That Should Not Exist: The LEGO Movie

August 12, 2009 / Posted by:

Thanks to the success of the Transformers and G.I. Joe movies, Hollywood thinks everyone is jizzing over seeing toys on the silver screen. So that’s why they are planning to make a feature film out of LEGO. For real. Methinks Hollywood needs to do more drugs, because doing so will take them to a far off place called The Land of Good Ideas.

Variety (via Coming Soon) says that Warner Bros. has already hired Dan Lin (who is also working on the Tom & Jerry movie) and Kevin Hageman to write the script. It’s being described as a “family comedy that will mix live action and animation.”

Okay, I get that toys are the thing right now, but I can think of a million other toys that should be made into a feature film before LEGOs. Here are my suggestions:

POGO Ball: THE MOVIE
Popples: THE MOVIE
Gloworm: THE MOVIE (starring RPattz’s sparkly weenis)
Hot Looks Dolls: THE MOVIE (starring Noah Cyrus)
She-Ra: THE MOVIE (Duh)

Take them and run, Hollywood.

P.S. – Jermaine Jackson’s agent better be on the phone with the LEGO producers right now. I mean:

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