Open Post: Hosted By The Juggalos

August 11, 2009 / Posted by:

Every year around this time, the town of Cave-in-Rock, Illinois gets invaded by the Juggalos who are there to down “Faygo” (also my nickname in high school) by the gallon while enjoying the musical stylings of the Insane Clown Posse. It’s the Gathering of the Juggalos, biiiiiiitches! It’s sort-of like Lollapalooza, but instead of chicks flashing their tittays at the camera, pregnant chicks flash their tittays at the camera. Amazingness.

I am so tempted to cover myself in fake tattoos, get my hair braided and throw on a “It Ain’t Rape If It’s Dead” t-shirt to witness this shit firsthand. However, I’m afraid they’ll discover I’m a fake and the rest wouldn’t be pretty. My no-no has already been through enough and it really isn’t ready to rumble with a Juggalo. It’s better that I just stay here and watch from afar.

You have to watch the video in its entirety to learn new phrases to use at parties. Also, visit the full gallery to see all the beautiful memories local artist Derek Erdman captured on film.

And just for the record, the Juggalo in the red t-shirt in the second thumbnail below is six-months pregnant and she’s smoking. She tells us she’s going to buy her new baby a bunch of “hatchet gear.” She tells us this while smoking….while being six-months pregnant. She might be a Spears.

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