TMZ claims this is a picture of The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Kim Zolciak trolling around with the mysterious (not really) Big Poppa at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas last November. I’m just going to tell myself this is Kim even though the trick in the picture isn’t wearing a wig that looks like it was pieced together using Falcor’s asshole hair and Jessica Simpson’s leftover weave tracks found in the dumpster outside of Ken Paves’ favorite glory hole. Maybe Kim went down to the Mattel factory and upgraded? But the little troll does look like Lee Najjar who has pretty much been confirmed as Big Poppa. Anyway, you can go about your day knowing that you might have seen a picture of the “trash box” (NeNe’s words) and her sugar toddler.
And let this be your soundtrack for the day. This is a clip of Kim’s new and not improved version of Tardy for the Party! Gone is the country warble! Bitch sounds like she’s singing into a megaphone in front of a high-powered fan. The sound effects on an Atari game don’t even sound this fucking digital. I still prefer NeNe’s version.