Posh Is No Paula

August 8, 2009 / Posted by:

Posh’s bony ass blew into Denver yesterday on a paper airplane to sit in as the guest judge on American Idol next to Hackey McClutchJaw and Simon “The Titty” Cowell. According to Radar, not everyone was clapping with their labia lips when they saw Posh. Some contestants were disappointed that Paula wasn’t there. Obviously, these contestants don’t go on the internet, watch TV, listen to radio, talk to other people or read the “breaking news” section of their PharmRep Magazine, because every bitch knew Paula wasn’t going to be there.

Some source-type (aka Paula’s day-shift dealer) added, “It didn’t go too well. She tried to hard to be ‘nice,’ but came off as icy and wooden.”

If they expected Posh to be crying, then they need to quit sniffing Paula’s homemade paste and come back down to Earth. Posh can’t cry, because if she sheds one liquid tear, she will immediately dehydrate and turn into a lump of bone dust. And we already know she’s as icy as Nicole Kidman’s bare clit in a snowstorm. We know this and would expect nothing less.

I shall end this post with some pictures of our Vicodin Viking rising from the ashes by greeting her public at Burbank Airport yesterday. If that Officer Pepaw only knew what was in her bag….

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