Kate Moss Presents “The Rock Chick Diet”

August 8, 2009 / Posted by:

Kate Moss, her daughter Lila Grace and Lily Allen are currently tramping through St. Tropez. While they are there, Kate Moss is training Lily Allen so that she too can have the body of a cokey supermodel. Closer Magazine (via Daily Mail) says that Lily asked Kate for diet advice, because she wanted to know how to keep the chunk off. Um. Lily could have just watched Kate’sworkout video” for tips.

A source said that Kate told Lily that she needs to go on the “Rock Chick Diet” (aka the Three Cs and 1 V diet) which involves ingesting nothing but coffee, ciggie smoke, vodka and champagne! Fuck, that cookie diet shit. The RC Diet sounds like just the thing for me.

Let’s see, when you roll out of bed at around 4 in the afternoon, instead of eating a bowl of Cheerios, you slurp down a bowl of vodka. Instead of eating some toast, you light up a ciggie and smoke while you’re pinching your nipples to prepare them for a day full of topless sunbathing. Then while you’re feeding your vampire boyfriend a bottle filled with blood, you can enjoy a cup of coffee WITH NO LECHE (that will make you fat). For the rest of the day, you continue to walk around with a fag in your mouth (just like Tommy Girl) and a sippy cup of either vodka or champagne in your hand at all times.

And…..Kate mysteriously left out one of the other very important Cs in her diet. Kate forgot to say that you must do your “nostril exercises” at least twice an hour. And instead of brushing your teefs with Colgate, use Cokegate instead. VOILA! There you go! It won’t be long before Kate is dishing out her tips to middle America on Oprah.

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