Gat In The Gut

Meet 25-year-old jail inmate George Vera from Houston. Dude admitted to correctional officers that he hid a gun under his fat rolls before he was checked into the jail house. This was after the officers searched his ass at least 3 times after he was booked. FYI: I’m pretty sure he’s a dude, but I don’t think you’ll find a police officer in the entire land who will want to jump in and confirm this. No takers.

A Houston police official said that they go through training on how to search fatty fat fatties, “We teach officers to lift up and look under. But the officer may not have arrested anyone this big before. They can be so big, basically short of strip searching or searching cavities, they could miss something like this.”

600lb George, who was originally arrested for selling bootleg CDs, approached an officer during shower break and admitted to smuggling in the gun. George was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility and was released on bond.

You know, you have to give it up to George. Dude is working with what McDonald’s, Taco Bell, KFC, Quizno’s, IHOP and (insert every other fine restaurant establishment here) gave him!

And it doesn’t state this in the article, but they also found the bullets in his belly button, a silencer under his right titty, a monogrammed sock with the initials J.H. under his left titty, Heidi Montag’s dignity in one of his armpit lips, a butter churn in his crotch area (maybe that was his peen?) and the joo-ree missing from Lindsay Lohan’s Elle photo shoot tucked into his back fat.

Source (Thanks Larissa)