Just two months after splitting up, UsWeekly says that Parasite Hilton and frozen burrito heir Doug Reinhardt are back to mixing their STDs together. Wonky and Doug broke up in the first place, because he was kissing on some other ho or something. Or maybe she got her feelings hurt when Doug called one of her crotch crabs “fat.” I don’t know! All I know is that they are doing it again.
Doug wrote some sappy grossness on his Facebook page like, “What an amazing weekend with my beautiful girlfriend. I love her so much!” and “Laying in bed watching SportsCenter with my girl.”
You might be relieved that Wonky and Doug’s toxic skankness is once again contained, but don’t let your genital holes breathe easy just YET. The more Wonky and Doug rub on each other, the stronger their STDs get! If you’re ever in a 5-mile vicinity of either Wonky or Doug, you better wear a mask over your crotch, mouth and b-hole to protect you from their skank fumes! The Wonky Flu is coming!