It’s here! The Snuggie for dogs! It will terrify your dog more than Michael Vick’s headshot!
The Snoggie gives your dog yet another reason to hate your ass even more and slowly smother you while you sleep! If you make your dog wear a Snuggie, don’t be surprised if you wake up to find a tiny pillow in his paws. You asked for it! I mean, it’s fine if you want to look like an asshole who creams your Snuggie whenever your latest “friend” from the Teddy Bear of the Month Club arrives, but don’t take your dog down with you!
Although, if your dog gets cold while watching TV and sipping hot chocolate on cold winter nights, then maybe you should get him a Snuggie. And if you’ve actually seen your dog change the channel with the remote, then maybe you should go to rehab.
Don’t even ask if I’m getting my dog a Snuggie! DON’T! Yes, I dress him up in a green Santa Claus costume every Christmas. Yes, I regularly put a blonde wig on his head and make him dance around to Britney songs, but I’m not pathetic enough to get him a Snuggie. As if.
However, the talking doggy tag looks like it could come in handy. You can record yourself saying stuff like (in a doggy voice of course), “You rook beautiful” and “I ruv you.” That way when you get the sads, you can ask your dog, “How do I look?” All you gotta do is push the button and feel the warmth in your heart when you hear him say, “You rook beautiful.” You’re welcome, Aniston!