Somewhere in the world, Latarian Milton is smiling from ear to ear in between snacking on chicken fingers, because his “hood rat stuff” way of life LIVES ON! This past Sunday in Utah, a 7-year-old boy stole his father’s Dodge Intrepid and drove off! Fox13 says that the boy, we’ll call Latarian II, busted through a stop sign and almost crashed into another car. He can be an instructor at the Linday Lohan School of Driving.
The ho in the other card realized that a shorty was at the wheel, so they called the cops. Buzz killers.
When the cops caught up with Latarian II, he turned down another street to avoid them. The boy led the police on a short chase through the parking lot of a local high school. The chase ended when the boy drove back to his house, parked in the driveway and ran inside to hide.
When his father asked why he stole the car, Latarian II had a very valid reason. He said that he was trying to get out of going to church!!! Cue all of us shaking our heads in agreement while saying, “Oooooh, okay then.”
Seriously, the boy reacted in a perfectly natural way. Whenever someone suggests I go to church with them, I steal a Dodge Intrepid and drive the fuck off too.
And how do I submit both Latarian Milton and Latarian II into the next Indy 500? Team Hood Rat Stuff all the way!