The Wino Is Not Guilty!

July 24, 2009 / Posted by:

The case of the dancer versus the slap happy crackie has come to an end! As expected, the judge declared Amy Wino “not guiltyof whoopin’ a trick last year. The Sun says that when the verdict was read, Wino just shrugged and sat there. Wino knew that under the Pete Doherty Law, all famous crackies can do no wrong in the eyes of the court! Yup, get yourself a hit record, puff some of the bad shit and slappity slap slap to your heart’s content!

The judge told the court: “Having heard the evidence from all the witnesses, I cannot be sure that this was not an accident. The charge is dismissed and the defendant discharged.” Why did he have to use the words “defendant discharged” together like that? I was planning on having spaghetti with chunky meat sauce and sun-dried tomatoes for dinner and now I’m going to have to pass…..

Apparently, Wino didn’t really move once everyone started to leave the court room. Wino sat there confused until one of her lawyers had to tell her ass that she was free to smack hos again. Outside of the court, Wino told reporters, “I’m relieved. I’m going home to freebase Cheerios.

Wino may be relieved, but cheeks and eyeballs all over the UK aren’t. I’m telling you. If you ever make eye contact with Wino, you better just get ahead of yourself and call for an ambulance, because you will need one in a quick minute. YAY!

And here’s Wino looking like a business woman from Transylvania walking to work (she keeps a pair of Easy Spirit heels in her desk drawer).

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