This Is Not Fast Food

July 23, 2009 / Posted by:

“Fast food” is when you get in your car, drive to the nearest drive-thru, order a number whatever and shove it down your throat while driving to the bar. That is fast food. Peeling the skin off potatoes (which is the worst chore in life), de-boning a chicken (it doesn’t even sound sexy when Fishy says it) and mixing things is not FUCKING FAST FOOD. But it is to Fishsticks Paltrow. Oh, how I wish she’d eat real fast food from a place like White Castle, so she can turn inside out and slither down a drain.

In this 7-minute video for RHYMES WITH POOP, Fishy shows us how she makes a “quick” roast chicken and potato dinner when she gets home from work. What she meant is that she forces her maid to make it whenever her latest personal chef has to check into the loony bin after going crazy from listening to her annoying ass. However…..

I will say that Fishy on video doesn’t make me want to stick lit matches in my eyes as much as Fishy on print does. I will give her that. And you know who else should give her something? Rachael Ray should send Fishy a giant basket of EVOO. Because thanks to Fishy, there’s a person on the planet who makes olive oil sound even more stupid than Rachael. I mean, olivooooooyeeel? I can’t.

And if you want to learn how to cook a delicious chicken dinner from a REAL star, skip to the 1:22 mark in the video below:

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