Needs More Prostitution Whore

July 20, 2009 / Posted by:

For the cost of a breakfast at IHop for 6, you can get up close and personal with The Real Housewives of New Jersey (sans the former coke whore with Ginsu brows). Yeah, I’m not sure what’s going on here. I’m guessing they are going to do some kind of Q&A, but hopefully this is a forum for showcasing their real talents!

Teresa and her adorable gremlins can open the show with a table flip dance remix. Caroline can come on after that and do her one-woman The Godfather. To lighten things up, Dina and Grandma Wrinkle will tap dance and dance their way through “Together” from Gypsy. For the grand finale, Teresa’s hairline will deliver a riveting monologue from Planet of the Apes (in the voice of James Whitmore).

As for Jacqueline, I guess she can tear tickets? Or she can sit in the lobby and spit out gumballs for anyone who presses her nose hard enough. Seriously, Jacqueline always looks like she has a mouthful of marbles!

Source: The Welmont Theater (Thanks Bryan)

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