Jeffrey Donovan from USA’s Burn Notice (and that “HE IS NOT MY SON” movie with St. Angie) was busted in Miami last week for driving with the drunks. The cops didn’t have to work hard to catch Jeffrey. TMZ says that according to the police report, the arresting officer was sitting in his car when he heard a loud ass screech behind him. When he turned around, he saw Jeffrey’s drunk ass swerving his car to avoid hitting the cop car. Jeffrey should’ve just jumped into the cops lap and held his hands out to be handcuffed. I mean, really…
When the cop approached Jeffrey’s window, he immediately smell the sweet scent of life’s nectar wafting out of Jeffrey’s breathing area. Jeffrey told the cop, “Sorry, I didn’t see the red light or your stopped car.” When asked if he had anything to drink, Jeffrey answered, “I had three drinks at the Fontainebleau.”
The cop gave him a sobriety test which Jeffrey failed with flying colors. After the cop delivered the news that he was about to go to the clink, Jeffrey said, “The only mistake I made tonight was drinking Benadryl with 3 glasses of wine.” And he followed them gem up with another, “I really think I’m only borderline and not too drunk.” If I got a dildo for every time I said that last line before falling over, I’d be drowning in plastic dicks.
Jeffrey should’ve taken his LOL lines further. Dude should’ve told the cops that the truth is the wine bottle violated him by forcing its juices down his throat. And that he’s happy the cop is there so that he can file a report against the wine bottle. Actually, I bet Kiefer Sutherland has already used that excuse….