CoCo’s Tips For Keeping A Man

July 17, 2009 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston needs to crack open a box of Snack Wells, get out her Cathy notepad and pay attention because the First Lady of Camel Toe is giving tips on how to keep a man. If for some strange crazy reason (MIND BOGGLING), these tips don’t work and your man leaves you, at least you will be fully trained as a Grade A SERVANT! You’ll see what I’m talking about. Here’s some of what Ice-T’s main bitch wrote on Global Grind:

How do I keep a man? Well, I can only speak from experience because I’m not a doctor, just a woman that knows what she wants. To lay out my history with Ice, we have been married for 8 years and still going strong. We met in California on a movie set and have been inseparable ever since. Now we live in NY and at the moment we don’t have any kids together. Everybody says relationships get boring, but it doesn’t have to be that way, its entirely up to the both of you.

Ice and I work all day together on the set of his show “Law and Order”, because I have an office there. But as soon as we get home, I’ll change into a skimpy outfit like booty shorts and heels because it changes the mood from being business oriented. LADIES & GENTLEMEN…the most IMPORTANT advice I can give is to make sure you listen to one another!!!!! TALK A LOT!! I think the reason that Ice and I have made it in the celebrity world for so long is because we constantly communicate. Remember, relationships will always have those bad moments and it won’t be rosy all the time. You have to be strong for one another and don’t chicken out when you come to a bump in the road.

It may seem a little old fashioned but here are some pointers that you can do to cater to your man:

Make him a cold drink
Cook him his favorite food
Give him a body rub
Dress in his favorite outfit or item
Draw him a bath
Watch all his favorite shows for a night
Play video games with him
And finally, kiss or lick his feet. Hehe- LOL. – very optional

When the always sophisticated CoCo speaks, my ears pucker, but reading that list gave me the tireds! When will we have the time to max out his credit cards, bounce on the peen and watch hours of daytime TV while making out with See’s chocolates (the chews only)?

I mean, CoCo expects hos to nibble on toe sauce while shooting worms on Gears of War 2 and shaking a gin martini?

AND what’s with the “draw him a bath” fuckery? Who does that? If you’re a character in a period piece, puts your hand down, because you don’t count!

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