Mayer In The Middle

July 14, 2009 / Posted by:

Tony Romo sent Jessica Simpson down the gutter of broken hearts right before her birthday and some source tells Radar that it was all because of John Mayer and his homewrecky text messages. Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun!

It’s always John and his text messages. I’m telling you, if you ever get a text message from The Mayer don’t even look at it! Delete it immediately. If read you it, you will lose your man, your job, your dog will turn on you and your favorite dildo will melt. Destruction!

Jessica learned this the hard way, apparently. The source says that everything between Tony and Jessica was handjobs and rainbows until he looked at her cell phone on Thursday night. “They were hanging out and he picked up her phone and she got defensive about it. Tony found messages from John and went ballistic. Tony dumped her right then. He walked out and that was it,” said the source.

Okay, let’s be serious for a quick minute. I doubt John text messaged Jessica. Did the texts say shit like: “Snd me pics of ur boobies” or “Wut u wearin“? If so, that wasn’t John! That was Papa Joe and his trickery! Damn him!

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