Remember Harry on Pepper (on the right during happier times)? They are the dude penguins who fell madly in love with each other at the San Francisco Zoo. For six years, they were just like any other happy normal gay couple. They spent their weekends looking at model homes for fun (Why did I used to do that?), hosted “Golden Girls” themed cocktail parties and even raised a babeh penguin together! Well, the gay penguin love affair of our time has ended. And it’s all because of a homewrecking SLUT WHORE SKANK BITCH named LINDA (on the left with Harry)!!!
The SF Examiner says that Linda has stolen Harry from Pepper! Linda is the Sienna Miller of the penguin world! Or maybe she’s more like the Liza Minnelli?
Anywhorypenguinwithnomorals, Linda has quite the reputation around those parts as a fish digging skeezer. A few years ago, Linda left her man for a much older penguin named Fig. Linda started rubbing her ice cold crotch all over Fig just a few hours after his woman died! Fig went off to the fake iceberg in the sky this year. A few weeks later, Harry was seen hanging out in Linda’s burrow! You know that shameless whore Linda tricked Harry into going into her burrow by telling him she just got the entire last season of AbFab on DVD! Shortly after that, the two were shacking up. It gets worse for poor Pepper…
Not only did Harry leave him for a dirty dirty bird (LITERALLY), but his ex attacked him one day! And not in the sexy way Pepper is used to. No, one day, Linda and Harry wobbled into Pepper’s burrow and started pecking at him like they were on The Jerry Springer Show!! The three had to be separated. Pepper was put in a different penguin exhibition while Harry and Linda continued to play house.
However, Pepper is now back in the same exhibit as Harry and Linda. Everyone is watching to see what happens next on All My Eggs. One of the zookeepers said, “It’s molting season in late July and early August, and around that time we see couples getting shaken up. It’ll be interesting to see if Harry spends any of that time with Pepper. We’ll have to wait and see.”
Harry and Pepper will be back together. TRUST. Nobody can toss Harry’s feathers the way Pepper does. Harry will never quit Pepper!
That being said, Linda is one of my new idols.