Ryan Reynolds Is The Green Lantern

July 11, 2009 / Posted by:

So sorry to Justin Timberlake, Jared Leto and Bradley Cooper, but the role of the Green Lantern has been snatched up Mr. Panty Creamer himself: Ryan Reynolds. Variety says that Ryan will start shooting the movie this January for a June 17, 2011 release.

The Green Lantern is based on the comic about some ordinary human who was the power ring by an alien whose spaceship crashed on Earth. The alien was in town to find a human to take his place as the Green Lantern. Oh and obviously, the Green Lantern dude carries a battery powered lantern.

While my no-no agrees with this casting decision, I think the producers should change just a couple of things if they want this to be a blockbuster hit. So, instead of a stupid lantern, I think they should paint Ryan’s peen green and stick a light bulb in its mouth. Yes, a lot of bitches will pay to see Ryan’s sexy ass carry a lantern around, but more bitches will pay top dollar to see him wielding his bright green peen. And instead of wearing the power ring on his finger, he should wear it on his cock. Obviously.

P.S. -You know Tommy Girl’s hongray Scientolohole just called its agent to request an audition for the role of the alien.

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