There Goes Joe Jackson’s Pimp Hand

July 10, 2009 / Posted by:

A little while ago, I made a dumb joke about how Joe Jackson was going to turn Prince Michael, Paris and Blanket into The Jackson 3. Well, don’t be surprised if you see them flaunting their jazz hands and pirouettes for dollars at the 3rd Street Promenade, because Joe might have plans for them!

In an interview with Good Morning America (via UsWeekly), Joe said, “I keep watching Paris, She wants to do something.” As for Blanket, Joe said the boy has got the moves, “That’s what they’re saying. He can really dance.”

Joe didn’t mention Prince Michael’s talents, so I guess this means that he’s the LaToya?. Don’t worry, Prince Michael, the LaToya in the family has the most fun.

Katherine Jackson currently has custody of the kids, but Joe somehow thinks that he does too! When asked who could get permanent custody, he said, “The grandmother, Katherine, and I. There’s no one else to do what we can do for them. We should keep them all together and make them happy. And feed them like they’re supposed to be fed. And let them get rest … and grow up to be strong Jacksons.”

What he really meant by “strong Jacksons” is “overflowing ATMs.

As far as I know, Katherine and Joe didn’t shit under the same roof, so what is this “we” mess? Jafar Jackson needs to know that it’s not normal when he looks at his grandkiddies and sees dancing sparkly dollar signs all around them.

Joe, do you see that purdy thumb of yours? Do us all a favor and stick it in your ass as deep as you can, wiggle it around, pull it out and then stick it in your mouth. Keep it there.

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