That’s Enough, Dr. Arnie!

July 9, 2009 / Posted by:

Michael Jackson’s dermatologist, Dr. Arnold Klein, has been tap dancing on the talk show circuit for the past few days and bitch is starting to trip up. There have been a million rumors floating around that Arnie is the bio-daddy of Michael’s kids.

When asked about it by Good Morning America, Arnie said, “To the best of my knowledge, I am not the father.” Last night on Larry King, Arnie once again said he didn’t think he was their father. However, he admitted that he donated his sperm to a bank, but doesn’t know if his baby batter (barf, wipe, barf, wipe, etc…) was ever used. Arnie went on to yap that he’s willing to submit to a DNA test and he will collect checks from take care of Michael’s children if he is their bio-father.

One theory going around is that Arnie and Debbie Rowe had an affair (picture two disabled pit bulls awkwardly licking each other’s nutsacks) which produced Prince Michael and Paris. Arnie told Larry last night that he thinks Debbie should get custody of the kids, because Michael’s mother is too old and Joe Jackson is crazy. Hey, Pot, I’d like to introduce you to Kettle!

The part that made my throat fart was when he said that we should all just leave the children alone. Slowly suck on your own advice, Arnie. After you do that, swing by Howard K. Stern’s house, find a private place together and then stick your head up each other’s asses. If you need some assistance in this, both Bubbles and Sugar Pie will help you.

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