Hugh Hefner Sued By A Hat

And not just any hat! A hat who is the reincarnation of the Venus Aphrodite
Demilo and an heir to the J. Paul Getty fortune. Yes, I’m just as confused as you. It gets even more confusing.

TMZ says that a hat named Sheri Allred has filed a $3 billion lawsuit against Hugh Hefner, because he hid under her bed when she was just a young girl. Or something. Sheri also claims Hugh had an affair with her adoptive mother. While Sheri’s adoptive mother was boning Hef, she was also doing John Gotti. I LOVE CRAZY PEOPLE! Seriously, crazy people are a gift.

You can read the whole insane letter here (it’s a must-read). Here’s just a taste of Sheri’s craziness. For once, the typos didn’t come from me.

Yes, sir I am asking for 3 billion dollars from Mr. Hefner. He’s been after me since I was a baby. Along with a pedifile organization here in L.A. When I was bout 5 yrs. Old He mysteriously was underneath my bed and he grabbed my arm and said that he and forsay the beatles and he mentioned the names of them. I asked like in my head since I’m a hat everyone in the world here’s my thought’s, a good way to establish peace. So I thought and I said you’d better let go of my hand. And so I braced myself again the wall and eventually he let go I ran into my parents room and told my adopted mother in which she replied it was probably your adopted dad.

The Gotti man had my husband eat his pussy cause he’s a morphidite. I know you don’t ask what is a morphodite, my dad my adopted dad told us kids what one of them are. That means my ex isn’t here in the upper story, if you get what I mean.

In all seriousness, Courtney Love needs to stop playing! It’s all fun and games until a pepaw loses his Playboy Mansion and ends up in the arms of Chris Hansen.

Courtney, I mean “Sheila,” quit the fuckery and go back to hosting La Loca Love Show on Twitter and finding the thieves who “stole” all “your” money!